Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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