he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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