just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
