There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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