absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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