yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
