There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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