she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My penis needs a shock collar
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
