theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
