its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
