are you still at the devil's house?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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