Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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