All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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