I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
