This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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