apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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