i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize