my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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