Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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