There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
