Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
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This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
God I need to hump something, right now.
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