Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
