At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So vagazzling was a success
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize