dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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