Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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