While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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