Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
