1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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