THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
