Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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