everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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