Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
