Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I want her autograph on my taint
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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