Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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