omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
