He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize