Kiss
Puke
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
