Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
