whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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