she was so not down for the gang bang
im drinking this country out of the recession.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How does one acquire holy water?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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