At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
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