Pappa wants mamma naked
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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