Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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