He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
