u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
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I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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