i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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