no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
