just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Michael Bay diarrhea
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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