Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize