Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
