i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Holy shit dude........stairs
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