so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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