I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
