She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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