Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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